Wheelchair Worries - West Midlands safari park

Red Panda

Today was a trip organised by Headway.  I've been on a few outings with Headway before but they were local or close by so travelling wasn't an issue. This time we were going to Bewdley and oddly enough they'd invited me...no wait, I think they did...Yea, they musta done...Either way who cares, I was going to be there whether I was wanted or not.

Wheelchair bus

A mini bus turned up with one of the rear seats taken out and space enough for me to slot in. It appears this modified bus was pre-planned, so in answer to my earlier question, yes I was invited. They've met me as well so they know I'm an idiot. Oh well, there was no backing out now.

Richard (the driver) secured me in place using straps attached to my wheels and clipped into rails on the floor. While he was securing my seatbelt he told me he drives for Headway quite often as they go on several trips a year, and it used to be on the other bus but he will use a wheelchair bus from now on.

On Safari

Me looking at an Elephant

We arrived there in about an hour and a quarter and we immediately joined the queue of cars - after a quick toilet break and stretch of the legs. As I was strapped in like Hannibal Lecter I chose to stay on the bus and slowly fry as today was the hottest day of the year...so far (well let's hope we will get hotter days but there's no guarantees). The windows on the bus opened just enough that the breeze coming through felt like a gerbil breathing on you through a straw. 

Everybody got back on the bus and the day started with a nice leisurely drive around the park, regularly interrupted by Giraffe, Rhinoceros, Ankole Cattle etc, sauntering across the road, The Rhinoceros in particular walks around with the authority of knowing it's the toughest thing on the park. The thing is basically walking around wearing metal armour, and with a horn attached to its face, nothing's going to argue with it. So confident nobody would say anything it decided to open it's bowels while it was walking and as the bus passed, it stared at us as if to say "and what?"

Unfortunately I have to say the access on the safari drive is abysmal. The ground is very uneven - in many sections it's pure mud with animal faeces trodden in. There are no ramps to be seen, there are no smooth walkways for me to roll along...There are even wild animals roaming around. 

I repeatedly asked Richard to open the rar door of the bus as the asthmatic gerbil breathing on me wasn't keeping me cool, but he shouted something about health & safety from the front. I think that's what he said but I couldn't hear properly because of the Hannibal Lecter mask I was forced to wear. Apparently it was on Anne-Marie's insistence as I've repeatedly tried to bite her.

We spent a lot of time over at the Giraffe enclosure. Many of the giraffes were in the road blocking our progress, especially 1 female and 2 males. The female was trying to get away from the 2 giraffes I've nicknamed Donald and Weinstein. #MeToo obviously means nothing in the giraffe world.

While we were waiting I recalled 1 of my previous visits to this safari park, a story I tell in my book Brain Tumours, John Bonham and Fat Pigeons

We decided to go to West Midlands Safari Park. I was in the Nissan - a car I despised; I probably intended to stick red meat all over the car’s body and hope the monkeys would rip it apart. 

Unfortunately, they were nowhere to be seen, they had all run inside because they didn’t want anybody taking photos of them in the Nissan’s vicinity. 

Giraffes were the last set of animals, wandering amongst the line of cars as we queued to leave. Food pellets could be purchased from the gift shop, something we weren’t aware of. As we reached the giraffe section, we saw people putting the pellets on the roof of their cars. These awesome creatures were walking right up to them to eat the food. 

I was jealous, so I said, “I’ll stick my hand out like I’ve got food and when it comes over it’ll be close enough to touch. 

I opened the window and stuck my arm out as if I was offering food. A giraffe clocked me and started trotting over. “It’s working” I announced excitedly. The giraffe approached, didn’t pause to investigate and swallowed most of my forearm. When it realised there was no plant-based food on the end of this meat stick, it released me. My arm was dripping in a gallon or so of giraffe spit, which has the viscosity of the thickened drinks that would later become my staple diet. 

I reached for the sachet of wet wipes to find there was one left. 

Wet wipes are tiny.

Source: Brain Tumours, John Bonham and Fat Pigeons

We got around the park in about an hour and a half. I couldn't reach my arm out of the chair this time as I was tied to the chair like I was being held for ransom and after I told this story nobody else seemed keen.

Inside the park

A poser

The entrance to the park is very wide and completely open so there are no doors to contend with. There are shops either side of you before you emerge next to the penguins in the 'zoo' part of the park.

There is acres of space here, there are various attractions like the Penguin aquarium, Reptile World, Sea Lion Theatre and the Dino Diner Restaurant.

We went up to Dino Diner as all that sitting around in the bus had worked up our appetites. The Dino Diner was up a not insignificant incline, well it probably is insignificant if you're walking, but it felt quite steep to me. It was nothing my iM.4 Elite from Easy Living Mobility couldn't handle however. West Midlands Safari Park can't dictate the level of the land, but they can dictate what terrain is on the ground leading upto the entrance, which is why it's curious that they would choose cobbled paving stones. Those walking on a warm sunny day like today probably wouldn't notice a difference. I however lose all the fillings from my teeth when rolling over them. That's a lie actually - I don't have any fillings. I jangled like you were shaking a piggy bank as all the loose change in my pockets rattled around. That's also a lie actually - who carries cash nowadays? They changed the terrain from perfectly appropriate tarmac (whether rolling or walking) to something that rattled me around like a maraca and is surely quite slippy to walk on when it's wet.

Dino Diner

Tiger

I didn't have to do battle with the doors as the back of the queue was all the way outside. Based on the shops I passed on the way into the park, I'm sure the doors wouldn't have been very easy for a wheelchair user to operate.

The floor is tiled and smooth as silk to roll across. I could get everywhere in the restaurant, everything is on the one level. The tables were nicely spaced out, some were round, some were rectangle and there were no legs to prevent me from getting close to my food. A lot of the time I'm sat some distance from the table or have to sit at an angle to get as close as possible.

You order your food when you enter and your given a disc like a miniature ice hockey puck. When it bleeps and all of the lights light up, your food is ready. Word of warning - Don't go for one of the Loaded Healthy Pasta options. They're cheaper than the other options (which at these prices is very appealing). I ordered the Beef Bolognaise which came in a plastic/polystyrene/paper cup thing with a woody/plasticy fork who's handle is so small I was constantly wiping bolognaise sauce off my hand. All of the sauce is plopped on top of the pasta, So you have a cup of plain pasta underneath. I looked on with envy as everything else on my table came out on plates. The fish and chips looked so fresh it must have been cooked just before it was put on the plate.

A Trip to the Loo

I took myself over to the toilets. The door into the toilet area (gents, ladies and disabled) has an inward swinging door that was light and very easy to prop open with my outstretched leg. Once inside there was plenty of room with the door into the gents to the left, ladies in front and the disabled loo to the right.

TOILET watch 

The door to the toilet was unlocked and open to the public but didn't appear to have been used. I assume because the disabled toilet was around the corner, people didn't know it was there. The room was tiny, it was barely long enough to fit the wheelchair when the door was open. The door must have been about a millimetre from the back of the wheelchair. I couldn't turn the chair around to lock the door, so I pushed the door shut behind me and did my best contortionist act to lock it. I had to line up the chair directly in front of the toilet and do a complete 180 mid transfer. I did the same in reverse when finished, reached behind me to unlock the door and opened the door while edging forward...which I achieved after several attempts.

1/5: 

 

A walk around the park

The upkeep of the park left a lot to be desired. That might sound a bit harsh actually, like I was commenting on how the animals were kept. I'm not, in fact the Hippopotamus are a good example of the big areas they are kept in.

I was referring to the pot holes. There are quite long walks between animals and there were several small craters scattered all over the path. I was studying the ground, not wanting to look up as the chair would have just fallen in to one. Just about all the paths are covered by brown thin dust that is very slippy underneath your fo...wheel. A number of times Richard had to grab my chair as I was steering in a different direction than the one the chair was sliding. I had no control.

All in all it was a pleasant enough day, but West Midlands Safari Park isn't somewhere I would choose to visit again. I think the wheelchair access is pretty poor, there are areas where no effort has been made. For example: There was a white lion enclosure, but the lion was nowhere to be seen. Some of our party walked down some steps to get close to the glass and could see the lion was sunbathing. You had to press your cheek against the glass. I had to take their word for it.

@fatpigeonsbook 

@fatpigeonsbook

@fatpigeonsbook

Wheelchair Worries - The Bookery and Amerton Farm

A New Independent Bookstore

I saw a post from The Staffordshire Spotter on February 13th that a new independent bookstore - The Bookery - would be opening at Amerton Artisans in Amerton Farm. The post asked "Do you know of an established local author who would be interested?" Well I'm not established, but I am local. Oh and it said there would be cakes.

Well say no more!

I mounted my trustee steed (iM4.Elite from Easy Living Mobility) then immediately dismounted, folded the wheelchair up and stored it in the boot of a taxi from Westside/Aerobrights taxis, as it took me to Amerton Farm.

Brain Tumours, John Bonham and Fat Pigeons

Brain Tumours,
John Bonham and Fat Pigeons

In case you didn't know - as I don't mention it much - I've written a book - Brain Tumours, John Bonham and Fat Pigeons - who am I kidding, if you've read any of my posts you'll know this poorly kept secret because as I'm reminded regularly by friends and family - I'll repeat that, FRIENDS AND FAMILY -  "you're always banging on about your damn book!" well sod them, none of them have written a book...actually, that's not true. My dad's written three. The Larks, all this way for a shilling and Yellow Impi. See, I'm capable of banging on about other books as well, but back to mine now. 

Any Jem Shaw fans should know that he edited my book. Feel free to leave a positive review on my book for this reason if you wish. Only positive though please, I'd rather people buy the book to find out it's only worthy of a one star rating.

Here was an opportunity to bang on about my damn book to a different audience. As I've learnt it's not easy to sell millions of copies on Amazon if people don't know it exists.

Amerton Artisans

As you go in through the main entrance, immediately to your left is the entrance to Amerton Artisans. It's basically a very large room with several small businesses. It's fantastic. I'd never been here before, there are several types of business here, for example homeware, gifts & cards, metalwork, arts & crafts... The list goes on. Check out the Amerton Artisans Facebook page for more info as this blog is about my wheelchair worries, of which there are a few to be found at Amerton Farm.

The Bookery

As you enter the hall The Bookery is on the opposite wall about fifty yards up. What a charming little shop. There are post cards pictures of 'Indie Authors' and short descriptions and multiple copies of their books. Indie Author means independent author. This store appears to be a great supporter of local authors. The store is quite small, I only stayed a few minutes before excusing myself as I felt I was taking up to much space. I was able to introduce myself to the owner and two local authors and showed them a copy of my book - well what did you expect? Afterall, I'm always banging on about it.

Amerton Farm

The access isn't brilliant, but I'm fairly sure it will be a listed building, so their hands will be tied with regards to what changes they can make. If it isn't listed I certainly don't hold it against them for not making changes that wouldn't be in keeping with the style of the farm.

For example I went into the tea room for a hot chocolate (the best hot chocolate I've had by the way.) But the door was quite old fashioned with a pull down handle. I was struggling to get in but a couple came to help me. They had to open the second door so that I could get through. If you've read previous posts on this blog you will know that inaccessible doors are a particular bug bear of mine. But I think in this case, keeping the old fashioned doors is acceptable.

However, the access when I got in wasn't much better. The tables were so close together it was a struggle to get the wheelchair through. I was having to move empty chairs from there place at the table or if people were sitting in them, they would inevitably have to move because the chair would be infringing on the tiny walkway.

As I was leaving the tea room I felt a tap on my shoulder, it was the lady I had spoken to in the bookery. She said she was looking on Amazon for my book but couldn't find it. She was keen to read about my story. I had hoped my appearance would open the floodgates and I would be inundated with requests for my book. I can't say it worked as I hoped, but I delved into my bag and retrieved a copy I had on me. She went to the table she was sitting at and returned with a £10 note and a copy of one of her books - The Haunted House 2. This was fellow author Ann K. S. Thayre. I say fellow author but that would imply I think I'm an author but I have only written one memoir, Annc has written five books.

Anyway Ann was a lovely woman who offered me very kind words of advice. Please check her out.

@fatpigeonsbook 

@fatpigeonsbook

@fatpigeonsbook

Wheelchair Worries - Radio Ga Ga

An Offer I Couldn't refuse

A few months ago I received my regular newsletter from Stafford Gatehouse Theatre, which mentioned a show called Radio Ga Ga. Radio Ga Ga are a Queen Tribute band and I didn't know anything about them to be honest, but I leapt at the chance to a sing-a-long to Queen songs. Ok I didn't leap as that's difficult to achieve from a sitting position. I was sufficiently enthusiastic. I just needed to find a friend or two with a similar musical taste, I found them straight away - Kim and Eva. I'm not sure how similar our musical tastes are, but there was a crossover here. We would meet beforehand and get some food, watch Freddie Mercury and sing along (badly) with him and then sit in a pub until last orders.

Not a bad evening!

Some Italian Cuisine

EATING ESTABLISHMENT watch 

We met at Zizzi beforehand. It has a manual door that fortunately I didn't have to try and open as my friends spotted me and opened the door for me. The whole of the ground floor is surrounded by glass walls and several tables are in view of the door, so there is always somebody to help me get in. There are no steps on the ground floor. The floor is completely flat and you can get everywhere. There is a bar in the middle and an exposed kitchen. I always like an exposed kitchen, I find it very re-assuring that they're happy for the customer's to see what they're doing. The toilets are upstairs, but they have a disabled toilet downstairs. The gaps between some of the tables aren't big enough to fit the wheelchair through. 

Zizzi 4/5:

A Short Ride

Zizzi is only few minutes walk from The Gatehouse, and with the 4mph top speed of my trustee steed (iM4.Elite from Easy Living Mobility) I can get that time down to... actually I can't get that down, its top speed is a brisk walking pace.

I got round by the police station and - as I was crossing the road that vehicles use to get into the police station - I noticed that the drop curb was quite high. Instead of the curb being at the same height as the road, the curb was about an inch and a half higher. The front wheels mounted it but, surprisingly the larger back wheels couldn't manage it. The wheels span unable to scale the curb. I pressed my feet into the floor and with the full force of the mighty 4mph top speed, the chair suddenly shot up the curb and as the rear left wheel hit the curb, the chair changed direction and shot me off the path into the road. I got to the Gatehouse without any further incidents (which is an achievement for me.)

Unfortunately there was time for one more incident.

Before I tell you of yet another incident, I feel I should defend myself - or at least give some context - against your probable question "shouldn't you have a driving test for that thing?" Most 

people say this to me - from a distance, while sitting on a chair hugging there knees against their chest so I don't run over their feet. 

I don't have much spacial awareness anymore. The right lense of my glasses is frosted as I have double vision, so I don't have any depth perception. Right, I'm glad we've got that settled. I'm confident you won't laugh when I tell you, I ran into a  piano.

You're laughing at me aren't you?

There is a corridor leading into the main auditorium that is only wide enough for one person. There was somebody coming out of the auditorium with a refreshments trolley, so I hung back and moved to the right...where there was a piano...I blame the Gatehouse, I mean why would you have a piano in the theatre?

Radio Ga Ga

I love Queen. Always have. Always will. Obviously, I never saw the original lineup, as I was only eight when Freddie Mercury died. I've never seen the current lineup with Adam Lambert, I was sceptical of Queen without Freddie Mercury, nobody can fill his shoes and it annoys me when people try. Queen with Adam Lambert won me over, Lambert doesn't try to mimic Freddie but has a fantastic voice and sings the songs in his own way. Radio Ga Ga are much the same... 

I realise this might not make sense if you look at the video and see somebody who is clearly mimicking Freddie Mercury. Maybe I didn't mind so much because he'd got a great band backing him. The Brian May replacement is a brilliant guitarist. I'm not sure I would class them as a tribute band. They are a great band who only play Queen songs and they put on a great show. The audience were loving it, singing along, waving hands in there, waving phones with torches turned on in the air. There were even a few tears shed during These Are The Days Of Our Lives. I will go again if I get the chance.

Last Orders

We finished by going to the pub for last orders. I only mention this so I can put this short video up. LOOK! I go between the lamppost and the bollard without going near either of them!

@fatpigeonsbook 

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@fatpigeonsbook

Wheelchair Worries - Sorry, you'll have to use the Gatehouse theatre toilet

"Every Monday I attend

ANDYSMANCLUB at Stafford Rugby Club"

It's free to attend, runs from 6:45pm-9pm, there's even free biscuits and (sometimes) free pastries. Rolling through the doors for the first time was incredibly daunting but something I'm glad I did as it's helped a lot and I've made some good friends there. I've been going for about 14 months and I urge anyone who's considering attending to push through any anxiety/apprehension as everybody is so welcoming and I guarantee you will feel better having got things off your chest. It gives you a different perspective of your issue(s) when you say it out loud to people rather than to yourself in your own head. Well it does for me anyway, I'm often realising that what seemed like a much bigger issue in my head, isn't when I try to explain it.

I have built up a good friendship with them and it was suggested we meet up at The Empourium on Monday 29th December as AMC would be closed for the Christmas holidays. I was quite looking forward to it, it would be a chance to have a few drinks with friends - something I don't do very often nowadays.

DRINKING ESTABLISHMENT watch 

Everything is on one level. The floor is wood, there is acres of room to get up to the bar. It wasn't particularly busy while I was here, but there was plenty of room in front of the bar and the bar was very very wide. I'd imagine they could fit about a dozen bar staff. There are a few pool tables, darts, crazy golf, shuffleboard,  Bowling and Table Tennis.

The Empourium 4/5: 

The Empourium

I was one of the first to arrive and their were two of the AMC lads sitting at a table. I had arrived at the same time as one of the other members so we both went to the bar to get a drink. 

The bar man spoke to me to take my order. 
"Well duh" you're thinking. "Of course he spoke to you, most bar staff do! They need to find out what you want to order."
True, but for the purposes of this post, it's quite important that he acknowledged me and my situation before I bought a drink. He leaned over the bar so that I could reach the contactless pay point.
He was definitely aware I was in a wheelchair.

We went back to the table, which was by the door, a door that we found out stays wide open unless somebody closes it - which nobody does, we,  push the door open like a saloon door or pull it open and expect it to shoot behind us. It was bloody freezing - Most pubs have two doors or the external door on a lever so it automatically closes.

I was drinking bottles rather than pints as I'd drunk a lot this Christmas and there was more to come. As I said in my previous post I'm getting old. I can't even finish a pint without a pit stop. I said I was going to the toilet and one of the people I was with said
"erm, I think the only toilet's might be upstairs."

I've stopped asking if there is a disabled toilet in pubs and restaurants as just about everywhere has them nowadays, but I can't help but stress about it until I know for sure.

Source: No Wheelchair Worries At Hogarths

I went up to the bar to ask the bar staff where the toilets are.
"We haven't got a disabled toilet, sorry. We were let down by the builder."
I waited for the solution I was sure he'd offer. He'd served me when I came in, surely he'd noticed then that I was in a wheelchair and I wasn't going to be able to get to the toilets. Surely he realises that this is an essential requirement when serving people beer?

One of the guys I was with said "you could go to the Gatehouse."
I was furious. Not with my friend, but that this solution wasn't offered by the barman. Furious I wasn't warned before I bought the drink. Furious that he had tried to blame it on being let down.

So off I went. Two hundred yards up the road to use the toilet in another establishment. As I was leaving The Gatehouse to return to The Empourium I bumped into the manager who had personally helped me a few months previously when I went to watch Milton Jones. She was incredibly helpful then and told me I could pop back and use their facilities whenever I needed to. 

I returned to our table by the seemingly permanently open door. I returned for about twenty minutes and with an almost empty bottle of beer in front of me I needed to visit The Gatehouse...AGAIN! It was now raining. It wasn't even nine o'clock yet but I wasn't very enthusiastic at the prospect of getting wet every time I went to the loo, so I phoned my Dad and asked him to come and get me.

There are two entrances to The Gatehouse. The main entrance (which has steps) and  an entrance with a ramped access (about ten yards further down). On this occasion the automatic door decided not to slide open. I could see the lights on the sensor change from green to red, I presumed 'red' meant it wasn't going to open but I also assumed it was due to my position/stature. There was a group of people walking past, I called out - slightly panicked as I hadn't planned for this delay. A guy broke away from the pack to come and activate the sensor for me. It didn't work for him either. So he went to the entrance and opened the door from the other side.

"Thanks!" I called out as I whizzed past him.

I hope he didn't think I was being rude and didn't seem sufficiently thankful for his help. I was veery grateful, but the situation was critical by then.

DRINKING ESTABLISHMENT watch 

I've updated Empourium's rating to 1 out of 5. All of the positive points I mentioned previously still stand but when you're expected to go elsewhere to go to the toilet...

The Empourium 1/5: 

**********

A new bar featuring interactive darts and a shuffleboard table is set to open tonight in Stafford. 

The bar opens at noon and will also host games such as beer pong, pool, and table tennis. An extension upstairs featuring a nine-hole crazy golf course and bowling alley will be opening at the end of November.

Source: Staffordshire Live - 11th November-2022 

I visited The Empourium a little over three years since it opened. So I was curious by what was meant when the barman said they were let down. Surely they were able to find somebody else to install a wheelchair accessible toilet in the years since? Have they tried to install a disabled toilet recently, but something had got in the way? 

"I thought it was a legal requirement to ensure services are accessible?"

I messaged them on Facebook Messenger and they responded within minutes. They confirmed that they don't have disabled toilets. I enquired further and asked
"I thought it was a legal requirement to ensure services are accessible?"
"It is not a legal requirement no as it is an old building/structure." They replied.

I know this to be true if the building in question is a listed building. Grade 2 listed buildings are allowed to install disabled toilets, but it is not a straightforward process. There is something called the equality act which requires reasonable adjustments for disabled access, this does not override the legal protection of historic features, meaning any modifications must respect the building’s character. 

This building didn't look old enough to be listed however. For example, I know the Soup Kitchen is listed because to get into the building they had to get a portable ramp out from a cupboard, they told me they wanted to install a permanent structure but had been denied planning permission because it was a listed building.

I wasn't convinced this was a listed building so I checked it on historicengland.org.uk. As I suspected it wasn't listed. It's not even an historic building.

"Based on the available information, the Foregate Street Vintage Emporium in Stafford is listed as having accessible, disabled-friendly facilities. This typically implies the presence of accessible toilets to accommodate visitors with mobility needs, adhering to accessibility standards."

The above is the AI overview when entering the Google search"should the empourium in stafford have disabled toilets".

@fatpigeonsbook 

@fatpigeonsbook

@fatpigeonsbook

No Wheelchair Worries At Hogarths

I realise that title may be a bit confusing when you read this post. Their wheelchair lift wasn't working at the time and their toilets were up five steps which I had to walk up...with help! Ok, maybe I should just tell the story as you're now thinking I'm just lazy and can actually walk fine.

What Happened...

It was just after three o'clock and we'd just finished Christmas festivities including lunch and secret santa at Headway. If you're wondering I got two MASSIVE bags of sweets - thanks, secret santa... whoever you are. A few of us decided we didn't want to go home yet and as we were in the vicinity of several pubs, it would be rude not to have a few festive Guinesses.

It was suggested we go to the Lamb but I soon torpedoed that idea as it's main entrance was up a large step. The side entrance had a portable ramp up to a door that was barely wide enough to fit my wheelchair through. I knew without going in that this was a pub that had done the bare minimum to tick the 'wheelchair accessible' box.

Hogarths

Tony suggested Hogarths as it had a sign outside that says wheelchair access. 

There is a small seating area to the left and the right when you enter and a wide staircase with five steps up to the rest of the pub -  notably the bar and the toilets - directly in front of you. It was a disabled toilet though so I looked around to see what their solution was for getting up to it. The solution was the wheelchair lift in the corner. It was one of those lifts that you roll onto, lower the arm, shut the gate and wait a few seconds for it to do the job of the stairs. 

I immediately untensed. 

I've stopped asking if there is a disabled toilet in pubs and restaurants as just about everywhere has them nowadays, but I can't help but stress about it until I know for sure.

I transferred from my wheelchair to a bench seat and proceeded to get 'merry'. Unfortunately, I'm a middle aged man and the effects of the Guinness hit me sooner than I expected. I got into my wheelchair and Kim helped me into the wheelchair lift. She was probably still experiencing PTSD from our coffee a few weeks previous. And I'm sure she wasn't surprised that I couldn't get the lift to work. Her natural assumption was that I was doing something wrong - which was highly likely. Try as she might, it wouldn't budge though. We called the manager over who couldn't get it working either. He said it was quite temperamental and in the new year he wanted to remove it in favour of a good ol' fashioned ramp. He was very apologetic and said 

"it's not going to work I'm afraid."

I looked at my not quite finished pint - I told you, I'm getting old. I can't even finish a pint without a pit stop. 

I don't like not finishing a pint and all that stood in my way was five steps.

"It's only a few steps, there's a bannister I can hold on to with my right hand. If you can support me on my left side, I think I can climb them."

"Sure no problem."

I wheeled over to the steps, grabbed the bannister and hauled myself up to standing and with my left arm being held walked up the five steps. I stood at the top waiting for my wheelchair to be put behind me with a smug grin on my face, like I'd just conquered Everest. 

TOILET watch 

The room was quite small. I say small, I interpret a bathroom as small if their isn't room to put my chair side on to the toilet. I appreciate this isn't something most other people would be concerned with. But it means I can retract one of my wheelchair arms and transfer easily onto the toilet. There wasn't enough room to do anything but roll up to the toilet and then roll backwards to return to the pub. It was a perfectly useable disabled toilet though. There were grab rails and the sink and hand dryer were at a suitable height. It was locked with a lock that could be opened by a radio key.

Hogarths 4/5: 

I used the facilities and then called the manager over to help me back down. I descended Everest and returned to the remains of my pint.

We remained here for the next four hours and I went to the loo after every pint. There were a couple of guys sat at the top of stairs who made it there job to help me... repeatedly. As you're aware I don't tend to walk nowadays and when I do I heavily lean on the person helping me. Considering I was getting drunker and drunker everytime I returned to climb Everest, I was probably leaning quite heavily on this stranger. He didn't seem to mind though and when he left told me any of the others will help me.

DRINKING ESTABLISHMENT watch 

I liked it here and will go again. They treated me the same as any other paying customer not as a requirement they had to fulfil. The fact that they had acknowledged this was a problem, hoped to change it in the near future and actually thanked me for my understanding. This attitude is one that I don't always receive and too often I get a simple 'sorry'. 

Hogarths 4/5: 

The next drinking establishment I visited only had upstairs toilets. I had to go to a nearby establishment to use their disabled toilet.

More on that next time...

@fatpigeonsbook 

@fatpigeonsbook

@fatpigeonsbook

Wheelchair Worries - That was supposed to be an 11 minute car ride...

£15 for a taxi!

I arranged with a friend to go round to her house for a coffee. It was going to cost fifteen pounds to make the eleven minute journey via taxi though, so I had the brain wave that I would take the bus instead. It wouldn't cost me anything and I could document it,

I'm sure that would make a fantastically thrilling post.

In case you didn't notice, that was said with sarcasm...

It was tipping it down with rain. The video doesn't quite show the extent of it, but trust me it was biblical...well, alright, it was raining a bit, but it meant I was going to get a lot wetter waiting for two busses than I would if I took a taxi, but I would have a nice hot coffee waiting for me at the end...hopefully.

It was lashing it down with rain (honestly, it was biblical), my trousers were soaked through and I'd only been waiting for fifteen minutes. I don't like being cold and wet so I decided to open up my taxi app, spend the fifteen pounds and look forward to having a mug of coffee in the very near future, and guess what?
Go on guess!
Yep, the bus emerged from around the corner. It offered immediate shelter from the rain and it saved me from spending fifteen pounds. Granted, it would take me into town, which was the exact opposite direction to Wildwood, and I would have to wait in the rain to catch a second bus, I was fairly sure I was going to regret this decision. 

*SPOILER ALERT* I DID REGRET IT

When we reached my stop, the bus driver lowered the ramp and - as he is familiar with my lack of capabilities when driving my trustee steed (iM4.Elite from Easy Living Mobility) - he warned a person waiting in the bus shelter to mind her feet because the bus driver knew what I was like.

Should I be offended? Nah, it's harder to maim people who are already wary of you.

I shut my front door about thirty-five minutes ago, I was now even further away from my destination than when I started. I got to the bus stop to catch my second bus and I asked one of the people waiting if she could check the timetable for when my bus arrives.

Why do you have to be someone of a certain height with decent eye sight to read the bus timetable?

Even if I wasn't in a chair, my poor eye site means that I still would struggle to see it. What if there was nobody here to help me? I think the wheelchair user is an after thought - if a thought at all other than doing the minimal amount so that they can tick a box on a form. 

According to the timetable my bus was due in twenty minutes at 12:48 but the electronic board said 13:48. I'm sure this was an error but I'd arranged to be there at one o'clock. It was still raining (and remember, it was biblical) I was still cold, so I gave up and ordered a taxi.

Ah the predictability of stupidity

I booked a taxi on the app - the app that I always use - I followed my usual routine making sure I didn't put in my usual payment details as I normally use the taxi service to get to Headway. I paid with my debit card rather than the debit card that the council funds. I had arranged to be picked up from my usual location however - my house. I got  a text saying "your driver is outside". I looked up from my phone. Nothing. I looked up and down the road. Nothing. It then dawned on me. I phoned the taxi company and told them my mistake and told them where I actually was. That mistake cost me half of the fare on top of the original fare.

This is going well

• I'm cold
• I'm wet through
• I've had to order the taxi that I didn't want to pay for anyway
• I've ordered it for the wrong pickup point
• I've had to pay extra to rectify my balls up
• Oh and I'm late

I finally arrived at my friend's - Kim - house. The first hurdle to overcome was the inch high step up into her house. I had questioned this when we made the arrangement and her response was "ah, we'll manage, don't worry about it." In fact I had a number of worries that involved my wheelchair and her house. Her response was "we'll manage, don't worry about it." Although it soon became "WE'LL MANAGE!" I took this subtle hint to stop worrying about it. 

1. Issue 1
   

   She had a dining room chair for me to transfer onto. And while I lazed around watching, she got the wheelchair in. Well, she tried, but the wheelchair is quite heavy and quite awkward to move unless it's folded up. The taxi driver offered to help before he left. We now had a sliding puzzle to solve. The hall was quite small and we needed to get my trustee steed in and be able to shut the front door. Kim slid me over towards the stairs, the taxi driver lifted my trustee steed inside and to the left of the door and we were able to close the front door.
2. Issue 2
   We were in the hall. We needed to be in the living room, so Kim slid me close enough to my wheelchair so that I could transfer onto it. I had to then wheel into the living room, there slight problem however. There was a shoe rack by the living room door, so I couldn't fit the wheelchair through the door and  the shoe rack was far too heavy and big to move. So I had to get back into the chair and then Kim slid me across the living room floor so I was close enough to transfer to the sofa. My electric chair was still in the hall though, so Kim folded it up and dragged it into the living room.
3. Issue 3
   Kim went into the kitchen to make a hot chocolate with Bailey's. Yum! Yum! 😋 She came back with a fairly full mug so I lent forward to sip it but I was forgetting that I was wearing a cap. The peak of the cap touched the mug which made me recoil immediately and the contents of the mug spilt onto my jeans and onto the sofa. She got me a cloth. I cleaned up my jeans and the sofa as best I could and then I slid across with Kim's help to the other sofa. She has a Miniature Dachshund who wanted to join in with our 'game'. He excitedly jumped up, I recoiled as if the dog was trying to gnaw my face off and Kim fell onto the sofa almost spilling hot chocolate on t'other sofa 
   
   Again, this was going well!
   
   
4. Issue 4
   I needed to go to the toilet. So I slowly went from the living room into the kitchen making sure I didn't mark the skirting boards or the walls. I then had to go into the utility, which was through a perfectly wide doorway, although there were several plastic bags hanging off a door next to the doorway. So, because I'm an idiot I tried to creep through the doorway without touching the bags. I could have just moved the bugs but then only a person who WASN'T an idiot would think of that. I was too close to the side and knocked into the skirting board and part of it came off. But I was barely moving at all so I thought it must have already been loose. I asked him and she reassured me that it was.
   
   I went back into the living room afterwards and bashed into the television table, knocking a Christmas calendar onto the floor.
5. Issue 5
   I was ready to go home so I booked a taxi and when it was about 15 minutes away I announced I better go now because I needed help to get me out again. We did the starting puzzle in reverse this time but Kim was struggling to get the wheelchair out through the front door. Fortunately her next door neighbours mother-in-law who Kim had never met, saw that we were struggling and offered to come and help. She helped Kim get the wheelchair outside and then helped me down the step into the wheelchair.
6. Issue 6
   The skirting board wasn't already loose, I knocked it off. Kim knew that I would go into meltdown so she hid the truth from me.

So there we have it. That's how easy it is to go around to a friend's house for coffee. She hasn't invited me around since though. Strange 🤔

@fatpigeonsbook

@fatpigeonsbook